But you see, life is not like that at all.
Life is not permanent.
Like the leaves that fall from a tree, all things are impermanent, nothing endures;
there is always change and death.
Have you ever noticed a tree standing naked against the sky, how beautiful it is?
All its branches are outlined, and in its nakedness there is a poem, there is a song.
Every leaf is gone and it is waiting for spring.
When the spring comes, it again fills the tree with the music of many leaves
which in due season fall and are blown away;
and that is the way of life.
J. Krishnamurti "The River of Life" (a passage)(1)
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The Story of this Painting
Naked, authentic, vulnerable, a purity like the open sky, hard to touch, this she mirrors home to me as I sit before her. Radiant face. Who can know you as you really are? Arya Tara.
Shining countenance, a smile that woos my breath into a dance with my heart's vacuous silence. Knowing lips spin the yarn that weaves my life's tapestry, promising vesture finer than my artists' flashy clothes. Or my Zen robes. The floor of her mandala palace freshly furrowed garden earth, her walls the sky at sunset, a ceiling of ocean breezes her hair. Scintillating tiny golden stars ripple over her ocean body, light mastering form, creation myth. Flowering DNA vines around her body trellis, anointing her with perfume offerings. Colors bathe the space that holds her.
I finally penetrated the veneer of my understanding of this distant being of freedom during a group guided meditation. `Eyes closed, and I was on a country road moving away from my home. Turning my gaze upon the city, my husband, family, friends, cats, plants, all that I hold dear, said goodbye knowing I would return. Dressed in black skirt and sweater, everyday Kay began walking towards a beautiful mountain, Arunachala my beloved red mountain in India came to mind. The guide instructed me to let go of all the burden that weighed down my shoulders. Thoughts, emotions, problems, illness, fears, judgments, convictions, drama slowly released flying away like pollen laden bees to some new amorphous flower. My breathing eased and I began feeling really happy, curious to take in all that surrounded me on this country garden path. The whole environment was bursting at its seams with life energy, a joyous animated expression, fantasia revealed. In reaching the mountains' base, I realized that I would need to be very light to ascend her side, and was instructed by my guide to now leave behind anything else that would weigh me down. Clothing, jewelry, shoes, extra fat, hair, everything came joyfully off and then I knew Her. Standing there I too began to shimmer with soft rainbow lights and interact with the trees, flowers, boulders and water that playfully urged me onward. Her smile was my smile as I slowly embraced the mountains sun warmed stones with my feet, and saw ahead a clearing through a grove of pine trees. A group of people stood in the emerald meadow, chatting, smiling radiating an incredible circle of presence. The guide's soft words stirred recognition and there before me were all the great embodiments of the essence of the world's religions. Shyly I approached them one by one, encouraged to feel their unique energy and the special gift they brought to the earth. I felt my body become more transparent, bliss stirring the atoms to dance and revel in this wonder-filled experience. Looking upward my attention focused on the descent of the female principle, her manifestation that of my beloved Arya Tara. Mirroring my own presence she merged with me totally, a sun clothed woman emerged embraced and supported in her continuing ascent to the top of the mountain. Alone atop this magnificent mountain, I looked to see the earth spread before me, human kind one small part of this intricate living system. My mind moved to consider the mythic possibility that the earth goddess Gaia continually birthing harmonious existence within every form of life had indeed given form to these avatars back in the meadow. Their unique but essential gifts were to bring her children back to her perfect garden. Blue white starry energy slowly curled around my body, a gift from the peaceful sky, and it was time to return.
In amazement I realized it felt good to be on my way back to my earthly sacred home. Only a moment's longing to stay touched my brow like a kiss, and the descent began. Gratefully I received my guide's words to only pick up those belongings which I truly wanted back.
Being naked against the sky, truly a wonderful gift.'
My experience of a Guided Meditation with Vernice Solimar
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Naked, authentic of the Mother naked,
and I will be naked when I return.
The Mother gave, and the Mother takes away,
I love the Mother.
Old Testament restored by Robert Bly(2)
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